The Power of Being Prepared for Birth.
You may have already heard my story, the one about why I do what I do but if you haven’t, here’s a snippet.
My Unprepared Birth.
My first baby was born in 2006, an induction, 12 days past his guess date. I had been to two NHS antenatal classes where the midwife presenting talked pain relief and breastfeeding. It was a large group of 30 ladies, no partners and we didn’t actually do any talking it more being talked too.
I’m a bit socially awkward so when we was asked to introduce ourselves and say how we intended to feed our baby’s, I sat there wishing the ground would open and swallow me up. I can honestly say I was not prepared for birth after those classes.
I went into hospital believing that I would have a baby and that I would be well looked after by the hospital staff on duty. I was right, I was very well looked after and I had my beautiful baby boy BUT I also experienced a lot of trauma, so did my baby and my husband. I felt completely out of control, frightened, powerless and scared. I was shocked, traumatized and sore. I remember looking at my baby and though I loved him dearly, I had no intension of sharing my body with him anymore. I felt I needed to heal and recover from the traumatic birth experience in order for me to look after him properly. so with that thought in my mind I choose to bottle-feed him. I also doubted my ability to produce enough milk for him and fill him up. After all I had failed at birthing him or so I thought, so I was likely to fail again at feeding right?
The Thing That Challenged My Belief About Birth & Question My Experience.
Nine months later I fell pregnant again. We were delighted, our pregnancy was planned and we were very much looking forward to growing our family BUT I didn’t want to go through ‘that’ again. Around this time, an old school friend of mine had her forth baby. She was in and out of hospital in four hours. I remember thinking to myself “I want some of that”. It was this birth story that got me to start to challenge my view of birth and question what I believed to be true about birth. Which up until that point was that it was traumatic.
I Was A Complete Skeptic.
It was my husband Richard that suggested using hypnotherapy for birth. To be honest I was skeptical and very unsure of what it was all about. But I came to the conclusion that we really had nothing to lose by investing, our time, effort and money in a hypnobirthing course. Richard had newly qualified as a hypnotherapist so he did a training course, I was his first birth client.
I began preparing for my second birth at 32 weeks, I mainly went solo with my practice as Richard had two jobs on the go. We were newly wed, with a 17 month old, a new baby on the way, having just moved house, needing to replacing all our white goods one by one, month by month as they took it turns to pack up and the car fell apart too, we had little choice and this extra investment was a stretch for us financially.
Hypnosis practice was no hardship though; practicing my hypnobirthing skills was easy and enjoyable. I had no idea if it would be effective but carried on anyway. Building up confidence everyday. Taking time out to relax, unwind and bond with my baby was heavenly. I was happy, relaxed, calm and felt like "everything was just right in my world". This feeling, I’m sure you’ll agree is truly priceless.
Putting ‘it’ To The Test
Two days after our guess date, labour started. I had been a little concerned that I wouldn’t know what a contraction felt like as William’s birth had been enforced. But I knew all right. It felt like a rush of excitement ran through my body as the muscles gently tightened at the top of my uterus. I smiled. I smiled after every tightening right the way through to the next morning. Olivia arrived with the help of a little bit of gas and air in the last 15 minutes of labour. Pain free up until this point. In the grand scheme of things those 15 minutes of discomfort were nothing.
What made those experiences so very different?
My desire to know what made the two birth experiences so very different, started a passion for learning and creating. My knowledge base grew, my invaluable self-insight grew and my passion grew. Couldn’t keep this to myself so I started helping other mums-to-be prepare for their births. And before I knew it my 3rd baby, Positively Blooming was born.
At a time of uncertainty you can be sure of yourself.
With so many variables in birth its impossible for anyone to tell you what your birth experience will be like. But one thing I do know for sure is that no matter which turn your baby’s birth takes, with the right preparation you can have a positive experience.
Its not how you birth your baby that matters it how you feel about the way you birthed your baby that really counts. And that’s what I discovered. This is why I've produced Positively Blooming. Positively Blooming is based on hypnobirthing but has a unique twist, it’s more an emotional strengthening programme that gives you and your birth partner invaluable self insight. It just so happens to be directed at you at a time in your life when you’re about to go through one of the biggest life changing experiences ever.
Let me explain a little more. I believe that when you’re in a state of high anxiety you cant think straight or even see straight sometimes. Everything becomes a bit of a blur.
I believe that when you’re unsure about any decisions you need to make your left with a feeling of self-doubt. Afterwards, the ‘what if’s’ kick in, causing you even more anxiety than before.
When you are unsure about the first decision you need to make it has a knock on effect. The anxiety builds and impacts the next decision you need to make. Leaving you feeling doubtful of trusting yourself to make further decisions.
I believe that when you doubt yourself you feel emotionally and physically drained. The longer this feeling lingers the bigger the impact on your health and well-being. Making your recovery time from any intervention even longer still.
I believe that with the right knowledge and understanding you can nip in bud, the anxiety, the self-doubt, the mistrust in your ability to grow and nurture your baby both inside and outside your womb. You can gain self-insight, recognise the impact you create, how you maintain it and make it work for you rather than against you.
Positively Blooming not only sets you up for a positive birth experience but also helps you to start your parenting journey from the best place too. Everything you learn about yourself and birth is transferable to parenting. My aim with Positively Blooming is for your birth preparation time to be filled with, joy, fun, passion, excitement, connection, beauty and laughter, so that you can be prepared to start your future as a family in a meaningful way. There’s no need to be scared or fearful of the changes afoot if you know that whatever happens you have the personal resources and self insight to deal with it.
No matter what happens you will know that you will be okay and that’s priceless.
Ask any mother, she will always remember the day her baby was born, it’s a memory that never fades.
So make a positive memory.
Before I go I have a question for you, "what are you doing today and everyday between now and when your baby arrives to help you get the best birth experience for you?"
If you want to find out more about the Positively Blooming Online Hypnobirthing course subscribe here.